"Happy" Mother's Day

This year, my Mother's Day reflection is a two parter - this is 1 of 2.

I was really looking forward to this Mother's Day. I knew Andy would make it special for me (and he did) and I was hoping the day would be a nice time to reflect on the joy of being a mom. It turned out a little different.

In fact, this is only my second Mother's Day and so far, I'm not building a very strong track record.

LAST year on Mother's Day "Eve" Lauren was still undergoing "sleep training" where she had to "cry in out" to help her learn to sleep better (and I'll out claim with confidence that it is well worth the agony, just VERY hard in the midst of it)(another topic, but I'm definitely an advocate)(Anyway...). Mother's Day "Eve" was her final night of crying before she "got it" and she cried for 90 minutes! It was horrible and I laid awake agonizing the entire time.

So, on Mother's Day, I felt like a zombie.

THIS Mother's Day "Eve" we put the girls to bed. Jillian was having a rough night. And by "rough" I mean, she's getting her molars in and also starting to show that she has a bit of a strong will. Combined? It's pretty ugly.

So, between 8pm and midnight, Jillian cried out 15 times (yes, I counted). When Andy and I finally went to sleep, she cried every 30 minutes, waking us from sleep. When she cried at 1:30am, I could not fall back to sleep. I laid awake from 1:30a to 4a and finally went downstairs to the couch, where I slept a whopping 4 hrs, until Lauren woke up for the day.

So, on Mother's Day, I felt like a zombie. Again.

Maybe my day was just the epitomy of what it's like for a mother. As I lay awake in the middle of the night, I'm thinking "Seriously, God! Is this a cruel joke?" This is supposed to be a special day for moms. A day to think about all the wonderful things about being a mom.

Instead, I spent the morning trying to get my head on straight, making potato casserole for our family get-together, getting the girls dressed and ready, trying to look cute myself, wrapping presents for our mothers, signing cards and packing the diaper bag for an entire day's worth of celebrating.

So Mother’s Day was not the ideal day I pictured in my mind. It was the kind of day that I had to show my mommy gumption. Suck it up, face the reality that caring for young ones is no small task and choose to make the most of a less-than-perfect day.

That’s the realistic view of my Mother’s Day. I’ll post more about being a mom in Part 2. But, sometimes facts are facts. And I just needed to vent a little.